


A Big Bang Criminal Theory

by Milli_Boo900, sammys_lover



Category: Criminal Minds, The Big Bang Theory (TV)
Genre: F/M, Smut, Spencer Reid is hot, Spencer Vs Sheldon
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-01
Updated: 2015-05-17
Packaged: 2018-03-26 12:35:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,372
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3851179
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Milli_Boo900/pseuds/Milli_Boo900, https://archiveofourown.org/users/sammys_lover/pseuds/sammys_lover
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everyone's two favorite Geniuses fight over the same girl An aspiring actress named Rachelle Alvarez. </p>
<p>I will fix the shitty title later...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Who's that girl?

Spencer's POV

It's a Monday afternoon. I'm at the grocery store getting a few groceries. I was in the frozen food section when I bumped my basket into Sheldon Cooper.

 

"Hello Dr. Cooper." I said.

 

"Hello Dr. Reid." He says.

 

"What brings you here?" I asked.

 

"I need some coffee for my morning routine." He says.

  

That's when she walked by. Red waist length hair streaked with black was tied into a tight braid. Her green eyes accented her vanilla skin. Her hips were encased in tight denim daisy dukes she had on a black and red jeweled tube top. Her thigh high boots added to the sexy outfit.

 

"Excuse me gentlemen I would like to get some Ben & Jerry's. That Cherry Garcia is calling my name." She says popping a lollipop out of her mouth.

 

We moved out from in front of the freezer. She reaches far into the back to grab the coldest ice cream. She grabs two of them and places them in the cart. She smiles and says:

 

"Thank you."

 

"Of course." Sheldon says.

She smiles and looked in Sheldon's cart. "Hey did they have any more white asparagus? I need it for my soup and when I went over there they were out." She asked. 

 

"I'm afraid I have the last one. You could have it if you like." I said.

 

She smiles and says, "Oh no thanks cutie pie I couldn't do that."

 

"I don't even like white asparagus. I just got it for a prank war on my friend at work." I said.

 

"What do you do?" She asked adjusting my tie. "Sorry force of habit. Unfixed ties get my OCD out of control sometimes."

 

"I'm an FBI agent. I work for the BAU." I said gulping when her huge breast pressed against my chest. I smiled at Sheldon who rolled his eyes in jealousy.

 

"Do you know a Derek Morgan?" She asked.

  

"Yes. He's the one I'm gonna be pranking." I said with a laugh.

 

That's when Penny comes up and says:

 

"Hey Sheldon ready to go. Hi Spencer how are you?" She says.

 

"Hey Penny, I'm good. You?" I said.

 

"Hey Penny, long time no see." The girl says. 

 

"Hey Rachelle, I like that outfit, I could not pull it off." Penny says.

 

"I just realize I did not even introduce myself. I'm sorry. I'm Rachelle Alvarez. Nice to meet you Spencer and Sheldon." She said.

 

"It's fine it was a pleasure meeting you." Sheldon says.

 

"I'll see you around. Bye." Rachelle says walking away. 

 

When she was out of earshot Penny asked,

 

"How long were you two staring at her ass?"

 

"I was staring at her breasts Sheldon was staring at her ass." I said. 

 

"She wants me Spencer. She saw my white asparagus first." Sheldon says.

 

"In your dreams. She called me cute." I said. "And if she did choose you you'd be too afraid to sleep with her because sex creeps you out."

 

"High five." Penny says. I give her a one and we laugh.

 

"I am not. I just don't particularly like seeing other people naked." Sheldon says.

 

"It's true. He took an anatomy class and dropped out when he saw the naked bodies." Penny says.

 

"I had sex once." Sheldon said.

  

"Masturbation does not count Shelly." Penny says.

  

 

"Drat." Sheldon says.

  

"Spencer we better go I gotta take Sheldon home. It's Halo night you know. He can't miss that." Penny says.

 

"Bye Guys." I said heading to checkout. I see Rachelle in line and head to her direction.

 

"Hey Spencer." She says.

 

"Hi Rachelle. I see you found some asparagus." I said.

 

"Yeah I asked them to look in the back. I love white asparagus in cheddar cheese soup." She says.

 

"Sounds good." I said as her green eyes look at me.

  

"You should call Derek I haven't talked to him in ages." She says.

  

"I can give you his number I said." I said.

  

"I don't want his number. I want yours though." She says.

  

I put it into her cellphone and that's when Sheldon say:

  

"She wants an experienced man."

  

"Masturbation does not count." I said.

 

"Burn." Penny says.  

 

Rachelle just laughs and says:

  

"I'll see you around Spencer." 

 

She hugs me gently and smiles. Her red hair glistened as she walked away.


	2. The Theory of Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sheldon tries to come up with an algorithm for love...

I walked to Penny's apartment.

*Knock Knock* "Penny."  
*Knock Knock* "Penny."  
*Knock Knock* "Penny."

 

"What Sheldon?" She said. 

 

"I need your help in getting Rachelle to love me and not Spencer." I said.

 

"Um Why?" She said. 

 

 

"Because I don't want Spencer getting her that's why." I said. 

 

"You know she has a right to her own opinion Sheldon. You just can't force someone to fall for you. You gotta ease that on someone." She says.

 

 

"How do I do that?" I asked. 

 

"Wow, Sheldon Cooper is asking me for advice, I have to tweet this later." She says a laugh in her voice. 

 

"What's so funny?" I asked.

 

"Nothing." She says.

 

 

"You can't be laughing at nothing for no legitimate reason. It doesn't make any sense." I said. "Do you want my advice or not?" She asked. "I guess though you only have a community college education." I said. "Here's my advice. You have no chance dude. Spencer is cute and sweet and nice. And let's Face it, you're an ass." Penny says. "


	3. dreams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> spencer's a dirty boy, and he knows it.
> 
> *****EXPLICIT*****
> 
> by sammys_lover
> 
> if you'd like a little private story just for you- wink wink- my email is a.o.3smutmaster@gmail.com, and my ig is sammys_lover__  
> I write all sorts of au's (and any kinks...I don't judge)  
> ***BOTH OF THESE ACCOUNTS ARE UNDER THE NAME OF MY OC, NOT ME****

I paced in my apartment, listening to the thundering storm outside. thoughts swirling round and round in my head. 

well, a single one.  
rachelle.  
just thinking about her- her smile, her eyes, her...breasts...the curve of her waist....the way her hips moved... 

I swallowed harshly.  
I sat down on the couch, and picked up a three books in a feeble attempt to distract myself from thoughts of touching, pushing... pulling, grinding... 

...pressure building slowly... 

...biting...

...soft moans leaving her lips, along with desperate whines and pleas... 

soft. 

warm...

tight...

I moaned involuntarily. shaking my head and picked up the books, (which I had read at least twelve times.) 

ten minutes and 100,994 1/2 pages later, I was still stuck on that beautiful girl. I laid back, closing my eyes. 

maybe I would fall asleep.

I think I did. 

**** ***** **** 

I don't remember falling victim to the sweet embrace of sleep, but I must have. 

rachelle was on her knees in front of me, completely bare. I was too. she held the base of my length in her hand, looking up at me with her big round eyes, a slight smirk on her face. 

I licked my lips nervously as she lowered her mouth slightly, taking the tip into her mouth. I let an unidentifiable noise escape my lips as her tongue swirled around the tip. she took a little more of me into her mouth, starting a bobbing motion. my hand threaded into her hair, whimpering her name. my dream was interrupted by a knock at the door. 

******* ****** ******* 

"s-s-spencer?" the voice called out. 

I sat up, staring at the door. 

"it's rachelle. from the store? I got caught in the storm and my car broke down."

shit.

I stood, and noticed my the erection that was making my pants uncomfortably tight.

shit.

she knocked again. "spencer? are you home?"

I cleared my throat, and answered as best I could.

"yes, one moment."

I needed to take care of this... "problem". 

I stood and made my way to the bathroom.

"the door's open." I called as I closed the bathroom door behind me, sitting on the edge of the tub.

I heard the front door open, the click of high heels on the wooden floor, and the door closing.

"I'm sorry to barge in on you like this, it's just...my phone's dead and my car broke down at least a mile down the road, and you were the only person I know within a six mile radius from where my car is..."

the sound of her smooth voice, no matter what she was saying, was not helping me with my current state.

I unbuckled my belt, and undid the zipper.

"where are you, anyway?" she called.

"I-I'm in here!"

I let out a quiet groan as my cock sprung free.

"i'll be out in a minute.."


End file.
